the loss we all dream of

Okay, not ALL of us.  My husband, for example, would be in real danger if he were to lose any, and, in fact, spends much of his time trying to gain…

Weight, of course. Because, you see, I’m fat.

Aww, I know, that’s a bad word, right?  Unkind?  In my case, true.  I’m very overweight, probably obese…  And it’s all been gained in the past eight or nine months.  Before that, I was quite slender and fit, because I spent 10 months dieting and working out to lose all this weight a few years back.  Then I took a medication that was toxic to my system, and then I got depressed because I was packing on all this unexpected weight, and I started eating horrible things in unbelievable quantities because why not? I already looked awful…

But, in rearranging my thoughts and attitudes toward things, I realized that my weight was hurting me, endangering me, and could have negative impacts on my daughter.  More than that, it was making me feel bad on a daily basis when I looked in the mirror or discovered yet another favorite article of clothing that no longer fit.  So, instead of getting discouraged, I reminded myself that I lost over 60lbs and got down to a size SMALLER than high school in 2010, and I could easily repeat that feat in 2013!

I’m 3 weeks into my “diet,” and I’ve lost 9.2lbs.  I’m not doing anything extraordinary or drastic, and I haven’t been working out these past 3 weeks.  It’s all dietary.  People keep asking me what I’ve done, and it’s hard to explain because…  Well, there’s no magic to it.  It’s everything that’s obvious and that we all know, but that is still somehow very difficult to do most of the time…

In short, I’m drinking water (no soft drinks, juices, flavored waters, energy drinks, etc–the only exception is the occasional 120-calorie “skinny” drink from Starbucks as a dessert or snack), I’m not eating anything high-sugar/fried/boxed/premade/frozen/fast food/greasy, and I’m using an app that helps me track water and caloric intake (as well as all the other major nutrients to be considered in a balanced diet).  I’m aiming for 1350 calories a day and not stressing over anything under 1600 for those days when I just didn’t do quite as well as I thought I had.  When I get back into a regular exercise routine, I expect the pounds to melt off!

It didn’t cost me any money.  Free app, no gym membership involved, no supplements or gadgets or anything…  And it’s actually turning out to be a LOT cheaper than eating the boxed stuff and fast food was.  I’m very pleased with the results I’m seeing.  There has already been a significant change in the waistband of my pants, and the numbers on the scale only serve to reinforce the success.

I’m feeling very proud of myself.  I’d heard that eliminating sweets from your diet would end the cravings, and it somehow did, against all my expectations.  In fact, things like sodas and cakes are downright unappealing to me now…  Although I splurge on occasion.

I think the major change in me, the real reason this is working so well, is that I’ve adjusted my attitude towards food.  I am no longer viewing food as a treat, a reward, or a comfort.  Food is something I eat to survive, that I can enjoy without excess, and everything has a value.  I may want that cake pop from Starbucks, but at 150 calories–the amount allotted to one of my two daily snacks and with absolutely no filling feeling–is it worth it?  Not so much…

But things like fruits and salads with zero-cal balsamic…  Those are delightful, they make me feel good and energized, and I can eat them in huge quantities if I’m feeling famished…  Without negative effects.  I never thought I’d choose a salad over a cake pop…

Anyway, that’s where I am.  Had a delicious and completely satisfying Fourth of July dinner of chicken, potato salad, croissant, and salad…  For under 450 calories.  And no thoughts of desserts.  Not because I’m awesome or superhuman or have any sort of willpower (the gods know I don’t!), but because I’m retraining my brain and shifting my perspectives to something more positive and beneficial to me.

Fargazing can be about more than moods.  It can be about positive self-image, improved health, and life changes!

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